Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
