My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Welp...herpes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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