i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
