Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
