So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She announced her abortion via fbk
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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