first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
