why didn't you poke me back
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
