Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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