well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
