Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
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We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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