I look better un-naked...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
