:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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