As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
