eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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