Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
