so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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