i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
