Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I will be naked everywhere
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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