But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
