Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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