why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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