My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
