Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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