smell my finger.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize