do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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