i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
