Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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