Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
