did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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