I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
