can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
