brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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