but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
