lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm both gender and math confused
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
