Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
