I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
