If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
