So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You can't just leave with hair like that
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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