I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
