took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
