So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
