just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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