I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
