help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
