The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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