Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize