I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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