My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
