I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
