So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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