You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
