Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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