She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
