Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
