He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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