a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
