drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
