Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
