I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't make out with my wife yet
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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