giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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