guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
