Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
two words...techno handjob
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
