I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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