I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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