its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How does one acquire holy water?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize