Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
