What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
