Having a random hookup so left but love u
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i think my mom watched the whole time
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
