its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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