census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
