maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
