Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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